Guilty for Isolation

Currently as I write this I am 19M and I feel like I am wasting my life. Just as the title suggests I have confused being independent for isolation, my biggest mistake I have made in my life (something I can't get back) and frankly it is a thought that is breaking me (as it is the main factor that feeds all the anxiety I have). All the things I missed out on and didn't do. It's as if I have never valued my life, even until now. It awakens my biggest fear which is disappointment. My words alone would not be enough to explain the damage it has brought to my integrity as a person to have been so long in isolation, so lonely and lost. I know that things don't change if they never change and that I'm the only one who can do anything to move forward no matter how hard it is. Maybe I'm skipping some things I haven't said and I should share too but the truth is I'm writing this kind of fast and without much thought. I need attention with this because I would like to see different perspectives or opinions of me (it's something I need) and it would help me a lot. I will be open to see whatever anyone comments and try to be active in answering questions or interacting with anyone here. Thank you for reading.